6.9.2010

When people say, “We’re number one!” I always think of it in bathroom terms. Even then, it’s better than being number two.

Dan's Funny Shirts

"Dan of the Day" with a Che Guevara-Stylized image of Dan's Face on a Red Background

Dan of the Day Revolution Shirt

$14.95 and up
"I Survived Dan of the Day." Text is dark gray and red, scratched/distressed and has medium gray paint splatters.

I Survived Dan of the Day T-Shirt

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6.1.2010

Instead of “Women,” shouldn’t the sign on a one person restroom say “Woman?”

4.15.2010

A funny joke would be to replace your toilet paper with a lint roller. When guests complain, say, “What did you do in my washing machine?!”

8.27.2009

Instead of, “Take me to your leader,” I think the first thing aliens would say is, “Can I use your bathroom?”

Klaatu offers a gift in exchange for restroom privileges.

Klaatu offers a gift in exchange for restroom privileges. There aren't a lot of pit stops in space.

7.31.2009

Janitors – If you stop rushing me out of the bathroom so you can clean, I’ll stop throwing wet toilet paper at the ceiling.

7.6.2009

The art in the Louvre was really crude, but the private viewing rooms were nice. And the porcelain chairs. And the toilet paper.