It really disturbs me when people say little babies are sweet because seriously, you should not be
Funny thoughts on babies
Rock-A-Bye Baby: becausethan a song about a baby falling out of a tree.
Oh, so stumble forward like a drunk and fall on my face? Thanks for the advice.
It’s a good thing baby oil isn’t made from real babies, because then people would think I was
Moroccan, Apple, Pilot Inspektor, Kah-el. I prefer biblical names, like Maher-shalal-hash-baz.
I’m thinking of switching to cloth diapers but
My daughter wanted to name the baby Candy Bar, but I told her no way,
I know two kinds of people that can be genuinely surprised by their own farts: little babies, and
After I eat, I’d feel a lot better if you would hug me and pat my back until I burp.
Sometimes for fun I put the ram in the ram-a-lam-a-ding-dong. It makes babies fall in love.