I love the pitter-patter of little feet, but only if it’s the sound ofmaking chocolate for me.
Funny thoughts on babies
It really disturbs me when people say little babies are sweet because seriously, you should not be
Rock-A-Bye Baby: becausethan a song about a baby falling out of a tree.
Oh, so stumble forward like a drunk and fall on my face? Thanks for the advice.
It’s a good thing baby oil isn’t made from real babies, because then people would think I was
Moroccan, Apple, Pilot Inspektor, Kah-el. I prefer biblical names, like Maher-shalal-hash-baz.
I’m thinking of switching to cloth diapers but
My daughter wanted to name the baby Candy Bar, but I told her no way,
I know two kinds of people that can be genuinely surprised by their own farts: little babies, and
After I eat, I’d feel a lot better if you would hug me and pat my back until I burp.