Never shake hands with a zebra. It’s not that they’re mean or diseased, it’s just if they have hands they’re probably evil mutant zebras.
Funny thoughts on animals
3.22.2012
I bet walruses are terrible kissers.
1.25.2012
I’ll bet when hunters keep a journal they start every day with “Deer diary.”
10.10.2011
Wolves get a bad rap from fairy tales. Real wolves would never attack anthropomorphic pigs.
8.25.2011
I’ll bet tigers never have to tip the pizza delivery guy.
5.2.2011
If a badger ever eats your face, just ask him to give it back and he probably will, because badgers aren’t as mean as they seem.
4.14.2011
I watched expectantly as the small band of apes prepared their ambush. I was about to get my first lesson in gorilla warfare.
12.14.2010
My wife said my website needs more pictures, so here’s a photo of animal abuse!
8.25.2010
If I could be any animal in the world, I would be Cookie Monster.
4.12.2010
Why is the emperor penguin so formal? If I were emperor, I’d be like, “T-shirt and jeans for me, but the rest of you have to wear tuxedos.”