Being “tired at work” takes on a whole new tragic meaning when you work in a tire warehouse.
8.23.2011
Note to self: cartwheels take way more room as a man than as a child. Also, buy new light fixture.
8.3.2011
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you have to start seriously wondering why circular objects keep smashing into your face.
7.7.2011
If you’re ever being chased by a bear, don’t climb a tree. Bears eat trees whole, so you might be swallowed accidentally.
2.11.2011
Accident prone is when you have to have your insurance company on speed dial.
2.10.2011
Accident prone is when your kids give you a lecture about not being able to have nice things in your home because you break them all.
2.9.2011
Accident prone is when you move closer to the hospital to save on gas, and you don’t even work there.
2.8.2011
Accident prone is when you carry something fragile across the room without breaking it and everyone applauds.
9.30.2010
How many spoons have to suffer before they stop making garbage disposal switches look like light switches?
