Two New Things You Can’t Live Without

June 24th, 2011

This is Part 5 in a five-part series on the origin of Dan of the Day.
Part 1: X-Men Origins: Dan of the Day
Part 2: Email: The Silent Productivity Killer
Part 3: How Chuck Norris Inspired Me to Spam the World with Random Funny Thoughts
Part 4: Why You Should Listen to the Voices in Your Head
Part 5: Two New Things You Can’t Live Without

Is the title a little presumptuous, perhaps? If you don’t have these two things, will you actually die? Am I asking a bunch of seemingly rhetorical questions, then answering them all at once? Yes, yes and yes.

So without any further ado (and I am a big fan of ado), I’d like to announce one new thing and give you a sneak peek of another new thing that’s coming down the pike. (Or “coming down the pipe,” if you prefer. Or the much more confusing but also much more delicious option: “coming down the pie.”)

Thing 1

The world is full of problems. When you’re having trouble, who do you ask for advice? A trusted friend? A close family member? Your pet labradoodle? Your belly button? All of these are fine and dandy, but sometimes the best advice comes from someone who is completely detached from your situation.

As someone who is easily distracted by shiny objects, I can assure you: I am completely detached from your situation. And that, coupled with an ego large enough to name a website after myself, means I am completely qualified to write an advice column.

So ask me about your dating problems, your financial situation, or your upcoming big purchase. I will publicly guide you through the choppy waters you’re facing (and privately laugh at your incompetence). Check in on Saturdays to find the answers you seek.

Dan’s Advice

Thing 2

Take a gander at these babies:

Sharks and Dolphins Gray Men's T-Shirt

Dan of the Day Pink Women's T-Shirt

Whaddya think? Are there any Dan of the Days that you would like to see in t-shirt form?

Part 1: X-Men Origins: Dan of the Day
Part 2: Email: The Silent Productivity Killer
Part 3: How Chuck Norris Inspired Me to Spam the World with Random Funny Thoughts
Part 4: Why You Should Listen to the Voices in Your Head
Part 5: Two New Things You Can’t Live Without