6.11.2012

For someone who lives in Idaho, I definitely don’t write enough jokes about potatoes.

More funny random thoughts: Idaho jokes potatoes

For someone who lives in Idaho, I definitely don't write enough jokes about potatoes.
  • dranthonykstevens

    You asked for it:

    How do you describe an angry potato? Boiling Mad.
    What do you call a baby potato? A small fry!
    What do you say to an angry 300-pound baked potato? Anything, just butter him up.
    What does a British potato say when it thinks something is wonderful? It’s mashing!
    Why did the potato cross the road? He saw a fork up ahead.
    Why wouldn’t the reporter leave the mashed potatoes alone? He desperately wanted a scoop.

    “I think” said the sweet potato, “therefore I yam”

    Q. Why do potatoes make good detectives?
    A. Because they keep their eyes peeled.

    One night, the Potato family sat down to dinner. Mother Potato and her three daughters. Midway through the meal, the eldest daughter spoke up. “Mother Potato?” she said. “I have an announcement to make.”
    “And what might that be?” said Mother, seeing the obvious excitement in her eldest daughter’s eyes.

    “Well,” replied the daughter, with a proud but sheepish grin, “I’m getting married!”

    The other daughters squealed with surprise as Mother Potato exclaimed, “Married! That’s wonderful! And who are you marrying, Eldest daughter?”

    “I’m marrying a Russet!”

    “A Russet!” replied Mother Potato with pride.

    “Oh, a Russet is a fine tater, a fine tater indeed!”

    As the family shared in the eldest daughter’s joy, the middle daughter spoke up. “Mother? I, too, have an announcement.”

    “And what might that be?” encouraged Mother Potato.

    Not knowing quite how to begin, the middle daughter paused, then said with conviction, “I, too, am getting married!”

    “You, too!” Mother Potato said with joy. “That’s wonderful! Twice the good news in one evening! And who are you marrying, Middle Daughter?”

    “I’m marrying an Idaho!” beamed the middle daughter.

    “An Idaho!” said Mother Potato with joy. “Oh, an Idaho is a fine tater, a fine tater indeed!”

    Once again, the room came alive with laughter and excited plan for the future, when the youngest Potato daughter interrupted. “Mother? Mother Potato? Um, I, too, have an announcement to make.”

    “Yes?” said Mother Potato with great anticipation.

    “Well,” began the youngest Potato daughter with the same sheepish grin as her eldest sister before her, “I hope this doesn’t come as a shock to you, but I am getting married, as well!”

    “Really?” said Mother Potato with sincere excitement. “All of my lovely daughters married! What wonderful news! And who, pray tell, are you marrying, Youngest Daughter?”

    “I’m marrying Peter Jennings!”

    “Peter Jennings?!” Mother Potato scowled suddenly. “But he’s just a common tater!”

    A skin have I, more eyes than one. I can be very nice when I am done. What am I? A potato

    Q: Why do potatoes make good detectives?
    A: Because they keep their eyes peeled.

    Q: What do you call a stolen yam?
    A: A hot potato.

    Q: What do you call a person who spends a lot of time sitting and peering into their garden?
    A: “Medi Tators.”

    Q: What do you call a potato that is never motivated, but are content to watch others?
    A: “Speck Tators”!

    Q: Why shouldn’t you tell a secret on a farm?
    A: Because the potatoes have eyes and the corn has ears.

    Q: How do you describe an angry potato?
    A: Boiling Mad.

    Q: What do you call a baby potato?
    A: A small fry!

    Q: What do you say to an angry baked potato?
    A: Anything, just butter him up.

    Q: What does a British potato say about a sunny day?
    A: It’s mashing!

    Q: Why did the potato cross the road?
    A: He saw a fork up ahead.

    Two potatos
    One day two potatos, who were best friends, were walking together down the street. They stepped off the curb and a speeding car came around the corner and ran one of them over. The uninjured potato called 911 and helped his injured friend as best he was able. The injured potato was taken to emergency at the hospital and rushed into surgery. After a long and agonizing wait, the doctor finally appeared. He told the uninjured potato, “I have good news, and I have bad news. The good news is that your friend is going to pull through.” “The bad news is that he’s going to be a vegetable for the rest of his life”.

    Doctors Office
    A guy walks into the doctor’s office. A banana stuck in one of his ears, a potato in the other ear, and a carrot stuck in one nostril. The man says, “Doc, this is terrible. What’s wrong with me?” The doctor says, “Well, first of all, you need to eat more sensibly.”

    What did the potato say to the other potato?
    Nothing they cant talk

    A Girl Potato and Boy Potato had eyes for each other,
    and finally they got married, and had a little sweet
    potato, which they
    called ‘Yam’.
    Of course, they wanted the best for Yam.
    When it was time, they told
    her about the facts of life.
    They warned her about going out and getting
    half-baked, so she wouldn’t get accidentally mashed,
    and get a bad name for herself like ‘Hot Potato,’ and
    end up with a bunch of Tater Tots.
    Yam said not to worry, no Spud would get her
    into the sack and make a rotten potato out of her!
    But on the other hand she wouldn’t stay home
    and become a Couch Potato either.
    She would get plenty of exercise so as not
    to be skinny like her Shoestring Cousins.
    When she went off to Europe, Mr. And Mrs. Potato told Yam to watch out for the hard-boiled guys from Ireland .
    And the
    greasy guys from France called the French Fries.
    And when she went out West, to watch out
    for the Indians so she wouldn’t get scalloped.
    Yam said she would stay on the straight and
    narrow and wouldn’t associate with
    those high class Yukon Golds, or the ones
    from the other side of the tracks
    who advertise their trade on all
    the trucks that say,
    ‘Frito Lay.’
    Mr. And Mrs. Potato sent Yam to
    Idaho P.U. (that’s Potato University ).
    So that when she graduated she’d really
    be in the Chips.

    A guy and a girl potato chip walks into a nightclub. As they get a table the girl excuses herself to go to the restroom.
    As the guy potato chip sits down and begins to order, another girl potato chip asks him…….
    “Are you Herrs or are you Frito-Lay?”

    Two little potatoes are standing on the street corner.
    How can you tell which one is the prostitute?
    It’s the one with the little sticker that says…………
    IDAHO

    Three girls were on the run from the cops – a red head, a brunette, and a blonde. During the subsequent high speed chase the red head spotted a potato farm and suggested that the girls should hide out there.
    Once at the farm all three girls girls climbed into a potato sack. The cops came to the potato farm, looked around, but saw no sign of the girls. The sheriff started kicking potato sacks to see if maybe they were hiding.
    The sheriff kicked the bag with the red head in it and she yelped “Bark Bark” so they thought it was a dog. He kicked another sack, this one with the brunette in it, and she said “Meow Meow” so they thought it was a cat. Finally, just as the sheriff was about to give up – he kicked one last bag, with the blonde inside, and heard “POTATO!”

    • Dan of the Day

      See, why should I bother? Ha ha.