The first Dan of the Day was inflicted on the world April 22, 2009. In celebration of keeping this thing going for six whole months, here are a few of my personal favorites from those early days.
I want an army of motorcycles, mechanics and ants. Then I’ll take over the world.
If you’re having a really bad day, just remember: The world isn’t out to get you. The problem is you and your stupid ugly face.
You know what’s more neglected than third-world countries? Second-world countries. You never hear about those guys.
They say if you knew what’s in a hot dog you’d never eat one again. I say if hot dogs knew we eat them they’d kill us all in the night.
When I was a kid we had a Halloween candle with a red pumpkin on it. Who knew pumpkins were red in China? Also, why did mom ever buy that?