When people say, “Holla!” I do. Then they stare at me, so I holla louder. Pretty soon they go away.
If a guy takes a pregnancy test and it comes back positive, what exactly does that mean? Asking for a friend.
Being raised in a barn is actually a status symbol for a horse.
If you work , you never want to be on soda duty because you’re always grasping for straws.
This is reality TV, right? And Scotland is voting itself off the island?
Things would’ve been a lot different in the 90s if MC Hammer had been an Irish guy named McHammer.
If you are your own worst enemy, then the enemy of your enemy is your enemy.
Poker is not a serious sport. They don’t even let you anymore.
Geese draw the letter V like a drunk kindergartner.
Why are some women so ungrateful when you give them a nice bouquet of fresh, live, organic snakes?