Why do women say they need hair conditioning, so you try to wash their hair and they say, “No, AIR conditioning.”
Dan of the Day Archive - 5/2014
Good thing about carpooling:when you see a slug bug. Bad thing: not supposed to fart whenever you feel like it.
Thinking back on my teenage years, I can’t believe Ias a waiter for blowing out birthday candles with a fire extinguisher.
Your wish is my command. So I command you to wish for me to have an endless
People talk aboutlike it’s a bad thing, but it probably would get those little popcorn shells out of your mouth.
Sometimes whenI think they’re saying my name.
Parenting tip: HaveDon’t try to teach your kids multi-variable calculus until they’re at least four years old.
I would probably answer a lot more phone calls if my ringtone wasn’t
I always stay at the Holiday Inn Express because the regular Holiday Inn is
All the best bands had misspelled names: Led Zeppelin.‘N Sync.