Hell is illuminated by fluorescent lighting.
Dan of the Day Archive - 7/2013
7.30.2013
Apparently the secret to growing the Dan of the Day mailing list is to not actually send out any emails.
7.19.2013
Why are so many people gored by bulls, but almost no one is gored by narwhals?
7.18.2013
Optimist: “The glass is half full.”
Pessimist: “The glass is half empty.”
Me: “Who the hell drank out of my cup?”
7.17.2013
You don’t have to clean out your fridge until your leftover Jello tells you it’s time.
7.16.2013
Isn’t restless leg syndrome just people who subconsciously really want to be playing soccer?
7.15.2013
Why do the British always talk about pimps and Cheerios?
7.9.2013
Sloppy joes are just sad hamburgers.
7.8.2013
I want to write a joke about Larry King, but he’ll probably die soon and then I’ll look like a jerk.
