I’mof my dentist knowing I didn’t floss enough than I am of actually getting cavities.
Dan of the Day Archive - 6/2013
from 2-2:30 AM and the neighbors don’t care, but I bark back for 30 seconds and suddenly they’re annoyed.
Sometimes I think there aren’t enough robots in the world, but then I remember, oh, yeah,
We should stop talking about the fact that
Why is it okay to eat a watermelon, but not okay to roll one out onto the interstate? Either way,
Instead of flying,should eat all the crumbs that fall on it so you never have to vacuum.
Maybe we shouldn’t shoot so many rockets into outer space, because what if space
When things are serious, and you want to yell, “It’s time to lay down the hammer!” be sure you don’t accidentally shout,
Why aren’t there more comic bookswho use toaster strudels to kill people?
Every time a door closes, another opens, but only if you live in a magical house with