Just because I’m unemployedto do pointless things like “get out of bed,” and “shave,” and “take a shower.”
Dan of the Day Archive - 3/2013
How can the United States have any international credibility if we continue to harbor
Didn’t your mother teach you, “If youdon’t say anything at all”?
What is the point ofif you aren’t even going to fill your pockets with waffles?
“Don’t get mad,‑motto for the Anger Management through Basket Weaving Association.
When your friends stop planningand start planning mass suicides it’s time to find a different cult.
Growing up my best friend wasrack. I would have made new friends, but nobody was as good at holding coats as he was.
Yes, I haveIt’s called a pocket.
Never try to be someone you’re not, because then people are like, “Hey! You’re not my husband!” and then they
Live and learn.and learn, if you prefer.