“Play it once, Sam, for old times’ sake,” I say to my car stereo as I turn it on. Then Sam plays Black Sabbath.
Dan of the Day Archive - 9/2012
9.27.2012
I’m starting to question the practicality of a sack of doorknobs as a concealed weapon.
9.26.2012
If you’re burning the candle at both ends maybe you should step into at least the 19th century and buy a light bulb.
9.25.2012
I think I could be close friends with a houseplant. They don’t make me angry, and I’ve never felt guilty for accidentally killing one.
9.24.2012
Isn’t it one of the cardinal rules of Bingo that you have to be under 12 or over 60 to play?
9.21.2012
We are what we think we do repeatedly eat.
-Buddha Aristotle Lindlahr
9.20.2012
When someone says, “I’ll see you in hell!” set a date and a time to meet them there but then don’t show up.
9.19.2012
It really disturbs me when people say little babies are sweet because seriously, you should not be eating babies.
9.18.2012
I may have lost my grip on reality but I’ll never lose my grip on my lightsaber.
9.14.2012
Tried to make a phone call but my phone was broken. Actually it was a banana. Anyway, don’t bother texting me. I just ate my phone.
