It’s not my job to make everyone happy. That’s what chocolate is for.
Dan of the Day Archive - 5/2012
5.30.2012
The Korean word for “request” is “poo talk.”
5.29.2012
Do dogs stick their heads out of car windows because they like the wind, or because their owners are so stinky even a dog can’t stand it?
5.25.2012
Don’t stereotype carnival workers. They can’t help their small hands, abundant body hair and general creepiness.
5.24.2012
I would stop making excuses but it would never work.
5.23.2012
I don’t understand electronic cigarettes. Since when do robots smoke?
5.22.2012
I’ve noticed those people who throw paint on frail ladies’ fur coats never go after hardcore bikers for their leather.
5.21.2012
Sometimes it pays to have a job.
5.18.2012
All these people saying, “You only live once!” are going to feel pretty stupid someday if it turns out reincarnation is real.
5.17.2012
If you frequently have trouble with choking, maybe you need to adjust your grip.
