On a scale of 1-10, I think most people would be a 10. I mean, I don’t know anyone who weighs less than 10. Maybe Steven Tyler.
Dan of the Day Archive - 11/2011
11.28.2011
Newlywed reaction to a small bed: Ooh, cozy! Later marriage reaction: I’m getting an elbow to the face in my sleep tonight!
11.23.2011
If my name was Joe, I’d go by Sloppy Joe, even though I’m not sloppy. If people asked me why, I’d say, “It’s better than Choppy Joe!” and cut them with my knife.
11.22.2011
English has silent letters, like silent e or k, but what it really needs is a silent i so people can’t talk about themselves so much.
11.21.2011
Do you remember how wetlands and rain forests used to be called swamps and jungles? I guess no one’s going to donate to save the swamps.
11.18.2011
Am I the only one who thinks question marks are overrated.
11.17.2011
I used to hate red lights but with Facebook and Twitter on my phone now I can use the time to tell everyone else how much I hate red lights.
11.16.2011
My life is like a Mexican soap opera. Not because of drama or plot twists, but because most of the time I have absolutely no idea what’s going on.
11.14.2011
Whoever said a rolling stone gathers no moss didn’t know much about Keith Richards.
11.11.2011
You ever go to a garage sale and find out they aren’t even selling their garage? Man, I hate that kind of garage sale.
