Be sure to teach your kids the alphabet song: “A-B-C-D, have you any wool? How I wonder what you are.”
Dan of the Day Archive - 9/2011
9.29.2011
It’s funny that this Windex says, “Do not ingest,” because it looks like punch and my vision is getting blurry and what was I just talking about?
9.28.2011
They say don’t try to be something you’re not, but if I’d done that I’d still be a nobody instead of a ninja assassin gold medalist billionaire.
9.27.2011
It’s okay to make fun of homeschoolers because they’re too naive to realize you’re insulting them.
9.26.2011
Ever notice how the people who drive convertibles are almost always the type who have had way too much sun already?
Funny Quote of the Week
“Last week the candle factory burned down. Everyone just stood around and sang Happy Birthday.”
-Stephen Wright
9.23.2011
The other day I saw a Dodge Grand Caravan Sport. Unless it has a jet engine, I just don’t see how a minivan could ever be sporty.
9.22.2011
I’ll bet sucker factory workers never get tired of calling each other Sucka! and then pretending they were pointing at candy behind them.
9.21.2011
It’s a good thing baby oil isn’t made from real babies, because then people would think I was weird for drinking it.
9.20.2011
I’ll bet the best part of being a Supreme Court Justice is when someone asks, “Who are you to judge?” you have a pretty good answer.
