Dan of the Day Archive - 6/2011

“An expert is a man who tells you a simple thing in a confused way in such a fashion as to make you think the confusion is your own fault.”

-William Castle

June 24th, 2011

This is Part 5 in a five-part series on the origin of Dan of the Day.
Part 1: X-Men Origins: Dan of the Day
Part 2: Email: The Silent Productivity Killer
Part 3: How Chuck Norris Inspired Me to Spam the World with Random Funny Thoughts
Part 4: Why You Should Listen to the Voices in Your Head
Part 5: Two New Things You Can’t Live Without

Is the title a little presumptuous, perhaps? If you don’t have these two things, will you actually die? Am I asking a bunch of seemingly rhetorical questions, then answering them all at once? Yes, yes and yes.

So without any further ado (and I am a big fan of ado), I’d like to announce one new thing and give you a sneak peek of another new thing that’s coming down the pike. (Or “coming down the pipe,” if you prefer. Or the much more confusing but also much more delicious option: “coming down the pie.”)

Continue reading…

June 23rd, 2011

This is Part 4 in a five-part series on the origin of Dan of the Day.
Part 1: X-Men Origins: Dan of the Day
Part 2: Email: The Silent Productivity Killer
Part 3: How Chuck Norris Inspired Me to Spam the World with Random Funny Thoughts
Part 4: Why You Should Listen to the Voices in Your Head
Part 5: Two New Things You Can’t Live Without

In the movie The Gods Must be Crazy, one stranger asks another stranger, “Does the noise in my head bother you?” The second stranger responds, “No,” but you have to think that may only be the case because she can’t actually hear the noise in the other person’s head.

And what about the woman with the noise in her head? Is she merely asking to be polite, and content with her inner dialogue? Or is the noise bothering her enough that she figures it may soon begin to bother others?

Here’s my advice to anyone in this situation: Let the voices out. Not only will it release some of the tension that is building within your brain, it will provide the rest of us with a good deal of entertainment.

Continue reading…

June 22nd, 2011

This is Part 3 in a five-part series on the origin of Dan of the Day.
Part 1: X-Men Origins: Dan of the Day
Part 2: Email: The Silent Productivity Killer
Part 3: How Chuck Norris Inspired Me to Spam the World with Random Funny Thoughts
Part 4: Why You Should Listen to the Voices in Your Head
Part 5: Two New Things You Can’t Live Without

When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.

You’ve heard all the jokes about Chuck’s awesomeness, and so far you’ve managed to avoid his wrath. But did you know he can also lay claim to inspiring Dan of the Day?

Continue reading…

June 21st, 2011

This is Part 2 in a five-part series on the origin of Dan of the Day.
Part 1: X-Men Origins: Dan of the Day
Part 2: Email: The Silent Productivity Killer
Part 3: How Chuck Norris Inspired Me to Spam the World with Random Funny Thoughts
Part 4: Why You Should Listen to the Voices in Your Head
Part 5: Two New Things You Can’t Live Without

The workplace can be a dull place at times, especially when you’re working as an engineer. This can lead to massive waffle breakfasts in the break room, ugly sweater contests and, more importantly, very funny emails.

A bunch of people wearing really ugly sweaters

Some of them happen by accident, like when someone accidentally sends out an unimportant email to a distribution list with thousands of people on it. Those usually go something like this:

Continue reading…

June 20th, 2011

I know what you’re thinking: What is this? Where is my funny thought of the day? Why is the text so small, instead of that really big font that makes it seem like Dan is shouting at me?

Never fear: I will return to shouting at you next week. This week, however, I am on vacation, so I have turned control of this website over to a robot. A quiet robot. He (I wanted to get an attractive female robot, but my wife put the kibosh on that.) will post messages here in my absence. And what will the topic be? The origin of Dan of the Day.

Origin stories seem to be all the rage lately. How did Wolverine get his amazing adamantium claws and skeleton? Why does Darth Vader wear a mask and talk with a funny voice? Why does Batman wear a mask and talk with a funny voice? And what’s all this mumbo-jumbo about the Green Lantern? Is he really green? Is he really a lantern? Did anyone ever really buy his comic books?

In that spirit, I would like to present the story of how Dan of the Day came to be an awesome superhero. Check back tomorrow to find out what you’ve always wanted to know: Why does Dan wear a mask and talk with a funny voice?

Tomorrow’s edition: Email: The Silent Productivity Killer

Dan as a masked superhero in a dark alley: Super Dork!

Superhero image by Becky Florence. Composite image by Dan.

This is Part 1 in a five-part series on the origin of Dan of the Day.
Part 1: X-Men Origins: Dan of the Day
Part 2: Email: The Silent Productivity Killer
Part 3: How Chuck Norris Inspired Me to Spam the World with Random Funny Thoughts
Part 4: Why You Should Listen to the Voices in Your Head
Part 5: Two New Things You Can’t Live Without