Prediction: WWIII will be started accidentally by missile silo workers hazing the new guy with an
Dan of the Day Archive - 5/2011
“If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.”
Why is it that every 6 months I get the urge to write a Dan of the Day
Get off your high horse. Now get on your small horse and do some tricks, you
‘Tis better to have loved and lost than to have dropped your ice cream in the dirt, because
I keep these items in my car for legitimate reasons: baseball bat – playing ball, knife – dicing vegetables,gun – shooting people.
“A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.”
Stop complaining about the rain. “OH NO! The liquid necessary to sustain all known forms of life is
Wax museums are so boring! I thought they would be full of crayonsand interesting stuff like that.
New details emerge on bin Laden raid: “When he died,Pentagon still unsure what to do with ruby slippers.