For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, especially if the first action is punching someone in the face.
Dan of the Day Archive - 3/2011
3.30.2011
The Neverending Story only had one sequel.
3.29.2011
Instead of “regards” or “cheers,” end your messages with something more unique.
Elephants,
-Dan
3.28.2011
You know what’s a blast? Landmine hopscotch.
3.25.2011
It takes 43 muscles to frown and 17 to smile. Quit being so lazy.
3.24.2011
Don’t take suggestions from sick people – you would be ill-advised to do so.
3.23.2011
Carpools were a lot more interesting when I thought they involved amphibious vehicles.
3.22.2011
Volcanologists: You’re wasting your time. Every fourth-grader knows volcanic eruptions are caused by adding baking soda.
3.21.2011
I wonder if people with gold teeth are tempted to punch themselves in the face when inflation is really high.
3.18.2011
Which poker hand is better – a royal flush, or a royal pain?
