Bad guys are always saying, “We have ways of making you talk.” I’m usually more interested in getting people to shut up.
Dan of the Day Archive - 2/2011
2.25.2011
Why is it taboo to pick boogers out of your nose, but not out of your eyes? Come on people, use a tissue!
2.24.2011
There are certain things you should never set on the stove, even if you think it’s not hot. Officially adding cats to that list.
2.23.2011
Note to self: Come up with plan to hide embezzled funds. Also, find a less-public place to write down notes to self.
2.22.2011
I learned from Super Mario that the best way to solve an argument is to throw fireballs, but jumping on a person’s head works too.
2.21.2011
There’s nothing wrong with your cheery disposition in the morning that can’t be cured by a good root canal.
2.18.2011
In reality, the corporate ladder is missing a bunch of rungs, and those people at the top just rode the ski lift.
2.17.2011
The guy who draws pictures on the orphaned whiteboard at work gave us another gem. I resisted for about a week before I added a caption:
2.16.2011
I don’t buy burgers from Creepy King, Pennywise or Icecreamconehead. I get mine from Pippi Longstocking, because square meat tastes better.
2.15.2011
After a failed career in pro fighting, the Karate Kid alternated jobs as a carwash attendant and fence painter.
