To keep people on their toes, every once in a while mutter under your breath, “No one will ever see it coming, mwah ha ha!”
Dan of the Day Archive - 9/2010 - page 2
9.13.2010
I’m stuffed to the gills, which is really weird because I don’t even have gills.
9.10.2010
Is the don’t-wear-white-after-Labor-Day rule just for the ladies? Because this white skirt looks really good with my blouse.
9.9.2010
I call false advertising on the flying trapeze until they perform while suspended from airplanes.
9.8.2010
If someone ever gets mad at you for eating their pie, just say, “Can’t we let pie-gones be pie-gones?” Then ask for some cookies.
9.7.2010
If everybody went deaf, would we still use the phrase, “Hear, hear!” or would we switch to, “See, see?”
9.6.2010
Pregnant women of America, give birth! That’s what Labor Day is all about!
9.3.2010
If you think you’ve got another thing coming, well, you’ve got another thing coming.
9.1.2010
I can’t carry a tune in a bucket. Frankly, a bucket is not a very good container for one.