How many spoons have to suffer before they stop makingswitches look like light switches?
Dan of the Day Archive - 9/2010
If there’s a stairway to heaven, I’ll betto hell.
No matter how many times I cut my fingernails, they keep growing back.
Me:My wife: “No, I said you’re deaf.”
Contrary to popular belief, gravy boats are notThey’re for floating on top of gravy.
There comes a time in every man’s life when he has to say,Usually this is when he’s asked his wife’s shoe size.
I don’t say, “Bless you,”but if they forget to cover their mouth I give a polite, “Curse you.”
Youof the bag if you hadn’t put it in there in the first place.
If I were a tree, I wouldn’t be a mighty oak or a maple. I would be a money tree,
From now on,thermometer “therm-o-meter.” And when I’m feeling really sassy, I’ll give the temperature in Kelvin.