How many spoons have to suffer before they stop making garbage disposal switches look like light switches?
Dan of the Day Archive - 9/2010
9.29.2010
If there’s a stairway to heaven, I’ll bet there’s an escalator to hell.
9.28.2010
No matter how many times I cut my fingernails, they keep growing back. Anyone else have this problem?
9.27.2010
Me: “I’m death?” My wife: “No, I said you’re deaf.”
9.24.2010
Contrary to popular belief, gravy boats are not for shipping large loads of gravy. They’re for floating on top of gravy.
9.23.2010
There comes a time in every man’s life when he has to say, “I don’t know.” Usually this is when he’s asked his wife’s shoe size.
9.22.2010
I don’t say, “Bless you,” when people sneeze, but if they forget to cover their mouth I give a polite, “Curse you.”
9.21.2010
You wouldn’t have to worry about letting the cat out of the bag if you hadn’t put it in there in the first place.
9.20.2010
If I were a tree, I wouldn’t be a mighty oak or a maple. I would be a money tree, just to prove my parents wrong.
9.17.2010
From now on, I’m pronouncing thermometer “therm-o-meter.” And when I’m feeling really sassy, I’ll give the temperature in Kelvin.
