You can’t touch the stars because there a pie.
Dan of the Day Archive - 7/2010 - page 2
7.8.2010
I need to hire trumpeters to announce my entrance everywhere. At the gas station: “All rise for His Excellency Dan!”
7.7.2010
One nice thing about being a commando is you don’t get embarrassed washing your underwear at the laundromat.
7.6.2010
I got it from the salad bar, so yes, bacon with croutons counts as a salad.
7.2.2010
Doing dishes the other night I noticed we have some Miracle Blade III knives. If they’re such a miracle, why did they redesign them twice?
7.1.2010
The problem with breeding mutant mice is it only takes one mutant cat to undo years of work.