I’m not really proactive – more like amateuractive.
7.22.2010
If it weren’t for the whole straitjacket and padded room thing, I would strongly consider going insane. Those guys get away with murder.
7.21.2010
When supervillians rub their hands maniacally, they’re actually just putting on lotion.
7.19.2010
My mother used to tell us to do things “for Pete’s sake.” Years later I found out “Pete” was Peter Frampton.
7.15.2010
If I had wings, I would soar through the air, flit above the treetops, and strafe the couples kissing in the park.
7.14.2010
For some reason, the Be-good-or-we’ll-sell-you-to-the-Gypsies threat works on the kids, but not the cat. Maybe he knows Gypsies don’t buy cats.
7.13.2010
My manager chewed me out for not doing my job right. Which is hypocritical, because he obviously botched it when he hired me.
7.12.2010
After months of flight school and hours in the cockpit, I suddenly realized that I was not, in fact, being trained to be a pirate.
