Just once I want to hear a politician say, “I can neither confirm nor deny that aliens are abducting all of the world’s chinchillas.”
6.15.2010
Just once I want to hear a politician say, “I can neither confirm nor deny my role in a secret ninja army.”
6.14.2010
Just once I want to hear a politician say, “I can neither confirm nor deny my stance on any political issue.”
6.10.2010
Kids are great! I would say everyone should have kids, but I can think of a lot of exceptions.
6.9.2010
When people say, “We’re number one!” I always think of it in bathroom terms. Even then, it’s better than being number two.
6.7.2010
I thought I had some kind of bizarre alien growth on the back of my neck, but it turns out it was just a cyst. Lame.
6.4.2010
In a tragic accident of chemical warfare pronunciation, the party came to an abrupt end when Jim shared what he thought was “serene gas.”
