Nah, it’s not Tourette’s. I’m just angry sometimes.
4.28.2010
What could be more fun than a trampoline floor, right? Except now all my furniture slides into the middle of the room.
4.27.2010
Is any one else a little creeped out by the fact that Santa’s elves are watching us all right this minute?
4.26.2010
Those legs, those thighs, those breasts… Be gone, fowl temptress! I can’t stop eating this fried chicken.
4.23.2010
My 9th grade science teacher taught me the most valuable lesson I ever learned: the amoeba is a protozoa that moves using pseudopodia.
4.22.2010
Next you’re going to tell me that chocolate-covered cheese sticks deep-fried in bacon grease are not a healthy snack. I hate this diet.
4.21.2010
The more of those garden gnomes you buy, the sooner they will be able to mobilize their army and destroy us all.
4.20.2010
When the weather’s bad I like to curl up by the fire with some hot chocolate. And then burn things.
4.19.2010
You say, “You idiot! Why did you push my new car off a cliff?!” like it’s a bad thing.
