There’s an orphaned whiteboard where I work. It’s in a rather public area where lots of people pass, and there’s a guy who regularly draws a seasonal picture on it for everyone’s viewing pleasure. His latest was some snowmen golfing. I couldn’t resist adding my own touches to it:
It only lasted a few days before someone erased it all. Some people have no taste.
I know two kinds of people that can be genuinely surprised by their own farts: little babies, and Joan Rivers.
Don’t say I never did anything for you, because then people would know.
I never really thought about it before, but the thing that made Al really strange was that electrical cord coming out of the back of his neck.
Note to self: bottle rockets are NOT an indoor toy. Not at work anyway.
Oh, I wasn’t ignoring you. I thought those were rhetorical questions.
I write “For Sale – $600″ on the windows of random cars and include my senator’s home phone number.
Have you ever committed suicide because your favorite sports team lost? Yeah, me neither.
After I eat, I’d feel a lot better if you would hug me and pat my back until I burp.
