There’s a chemical in turkey that makes me want to watch college football.
11.25.2009
Are the wazoo and the yin yang the same thing? Both always have things coming out of them.
11.24.2009
I want to DJ high school dances just so I can play Stairway to Heaven and laugh at the kids who try to slow dance. Then I’ll play Free Bird.
11.23.2009
Once this guy asked me to stop shouting at people, so I put him under citizen’s arrest. Turns out he was a cop. A jerk cop.
11.20.2009
The Apollo moon landing was an obvious hoax. C’mon, everyone knows the moon is made of cheese.
11.19.2009
Charles Manson used Beatles songs for evil, but I use them for good. I gave a silver hammer to someone named Maxwell.
11.18.2009
Admit it – you’ve fantasized about fighting traffic with a rocket launcher.
11.13.2009
Science: the process of systematically trying to convince yourself and others that you have the faintest clue what you’re talking about.
11.12.2009
If you quit your job and move to Germany, you are expected to send your former coworkers chocolate. You hear that Eric? LOTS OF CHOCOLATE.
11.11.2009
Obscure Medical Fact #202: Mullets are multiple personality disorder of the hair.
Get the Mullets Are Hot T-Shirt!
