I keep accidentally eating my pets. Maybe I should get something less appetizing, like a cat instead of a Twinkie.
Dan of the Day Archive - 8/2009 - page 2
8.13.2009
Paul Bunyan vs. Godzilla – bet on the guy with the giant ax and flame-retardant flannel.
8.12.2009
Nothing says chaos quite like flying chickens.
8.11.2009
I like the fable of Little Red, Red Robin Hood, where he’s bob, bob, bobbin’ along, stealing from the rich to see his grandmother.
8.10.2009
When you leave a job you should always try leaving a dummy at your desk. If you’re lucky, they’ll keep sending you paychecks.
8.7.2009
Mankind’s best discoveries: fire, the wheel, mozzarella sticks.
8.6.2009
Darling, you look ravaging tonight.
8.5.2009
I know someone who graduated from high school in the 80s, but her bangs are still stuck there.
8.4.2009
I think a sixshooter makes a good fashion statement: I’m carrying a gun.
8.3.2009
Food-supply warfare secret weapon: hybrid clones of Kobayashi crossed with the Hamburgler.