Sometimes for fun I put the ram in the ram-a-lam-a-ding-dong. It makes babies fall in love.
7.13.2009
Jargon: an industry’s way of making you think that what they do is really complicated.
Here’s a partial list of some corporate jargon:
- SBU – strategic business underwear
- actionable – movies like the Terminator, Batman, the Matrix, etc.
- conflict resolution – resolving issues through armed force
- best practices – the kind that end with a shout of, “Goooo team!” followed by milk and cookies
- CEO – chief executioner officer
- competitive advantage – performance-enhancing substances
- milestones – large stones carried for a mile as a business-related punishment
- MNC – multi-nautilus company
- downsize – what to do when you have no idea how to fix things
- rightsize – the same as downsize (!)
- monetization – selling off office furniture, appliances, etc.
Know some jargon of your own?
7.10.2009
There’s a fine line between charity and welfare, and a long line for both. My favorite are squiggly lines.
7.9.2009
I wear glasses as a superhero but not as my alter ego. The bad guys think I’m just some dork, but no, I’m Super Dork!
7.7.2009
He’s an idiot, but he’s a highly compensated idiot.
Who do you think is a highly paid idiot? Add a comment to let us all know.
7.6.2009
The art in the Louvre was really crude, but the private viewing rooms were nice. And the porcelain chairs. And the toilet paper.
7.1.2009
To avoid getting lettuce in your teeth when eating in public, just swallow it whole. Also works for corn on the cob.
