Janitors – If you stop rushing me out of the bathroom so you can clean, I’ll stop throwing wet toilet paper at the ceiling.
Dan of the Day Archive - 7/2009
The internet is TRUE.
If you’re having trouble with sleeping during business meetings, just try some earplugs.
Some people think I’m handsome, clever, charming, funny and smart. And by some people, I mean my mom. When I was 4.
No Dan of the Day today, I’m all out of funny. And powdered sugar. Do you have any I could borrow?
People stand and wait for the microwave to finish beeping because all the real cooking happens in those last seconds.
The economy is really getting bad. The other day I saw an empty turtle shell with a “foreclosed” sign taped to the side.
Original image courtesy of Jim Mason, gpnc.org
The root words of shampoo are sham and poo.
Manicures are for men, womanicures are for women, pedicures are for dogs and cats. No idea what epicures are good for.