Demolition derbies should allow gas trucks to compete.
Dan of the Day Archive - 6/2009
To the gal with the “My dog is smarter than your honor student” bumper sticker: Your dog sniffs butts.
Definitely a good idea to keep a video camera with you when you’re taking care of someone after they have surgery.
Steamrollers are expensive, but they make ironing so much faster.
I knew a family who were wizards from the Harry Potter world. But the son would eat raw onions, so maybe they were just weird.
Talk Like a Pirate Day is September 19. I’m more concerned about Pillage, Plunder, Burn and Murder Like a Pirate Day.
Lots of kids want to be astronauts when they grow up. I wanted to be Scooby-Doo. Which would explain why I mumble.
Am I the only one who has fantasized about kicking and shotgun-blasting through It’s A Small World?
If anyone ever tells you, “Don’t go into that burning chemical warehouse to save your Chia Pet,” well, they’re heartless.
Stones are actually long-lived, mobile, sentient beings, waiting for all of us to die off. Now who’s dumb as rocks?