They wouldn’t let me compete in the demolition derby. Something about gasoline tankers being unsafe…
June, 2009
6.29.2009
To the guy/gal with the “My dog is smarter than your honor student” bumper sticker: Your dog sniffs butts.
Kid on Painkillers
June 27th, 2009Definitely a good idea to keep a video camera with you when you’re taking care of someone after they have surgery.
6.25.2009
I knew a family who were wizards from the Harry Potter world. The son would eat raw onions, so maybe they were just weird.
6.24.2009
Talk Like a Pirate Day is September 19. I’m more concerned about Pillage, Plunder, Burn and Murder Like a Pirate Day.
6.23.2009
Lots of kids want to be astronauts when they grow up. I wanted to be Scooby-Doo. Which would explain why I mumble.
6.22.2009
Am I the only one who has fantasized about kicking and shotgun-blasting through It’s A Small World?
6.12.2009
If anyone ever tells you, “Don’t go into that burning chemical warehouse to save your Chia Pet,” well, they’re heartless.
6.11.2009
Stones are actually long-lived, mobile, sentient beings, waiting for all of us to die off. Now who’s dumb as rocks?
