When I was a kid we had a Halloween candle with a red pumpkin on it. Who knew pumpkins were red in China? Also, why did mom ever buy that?
Dan of the Day Archive - 4/2009
They say if you knew what’s in a hot dog you’d never eat one again. I say if hot dogs knew we eat them they’d kill us all in the night.
Wouldn’t it be funny if women had beards? Just think Nicole Kidman crossed with Osama bin Laden. Minus the turban.
You know what’s more neglected than third-world countries? Second-world countries. You never hear about those guys.
If you’re having a really bad day, just remember: The world isn’t out to get you. The problem is you and your stupid ugly face.
I want an army of motorcycles, mechanics and ants. Then I’ll take over the world.