People come quickly when you start screaming, but leave quickly when you keep screaming. Screaming is fun.
5.22.2013
I’ll bet Charlie Brown’s parents could make a kickin’ jazz album.
5.21.2013
What is it about hamburgers that makes them such a poor underarm deodorant?
5.20.2013
What’s more rude? Spitting on someone’s floor, or not having a spittoon where a dude might feel like spitting?
5.17.2013
Every day, write, “Be awesome,” on your to do list. That way you always have at least one thing you can check off as done every night.
5.16.2013
I can never remember – are you supposed to exorcise your demons, or exercise your demons?
New Comment System
May 15th, 20135.15.2013
Help save the earth by getting your office to go paperless. Burn every last piece.
5.14.2013
Kids’ music should have suggestive lyrics. Stuff like, “Why not go clean your room?” or, “You should be quiet so daddy can sleep.”
5.13.2013
Apparently people now think sloths are cute and make good pets. So I guess there’s hope for my little brother after all.



