Braggadocio is a fancy kind of lettuce that only awesome people like me know about.
Background image deriv. of Robert Couse-Baker, http://www.flickr.com/photos/29233640@N07/4461633306/
I wasn’t worried about caloric intake until I found out it’s actually not part of a car engine.
Background image deriv. of Ahmad Ziyad Maricar, http://www.flickr.com/photos/88758808@N00/527844080/
“Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, I will never trust another human being again.” -Cats
A Subway subway is an underground train that takes you to a sandwich shop.
Background image deriv. of Matthew Rutledge, https://www.flickr.com/photos/rutlo/3164514287/in/gallery-mattimattila-72157625636640685/
If I were a hay farmer, I would tell so many hey! hay! jokes that the other farmers would kill me.
Solar flares are funnier if you think of them as star farts.
Modern cowboys are fake. Real cowboys have the chest and head of a boy attached to the body and legs of a cow.
Your secret stash of candy is not as secret as you think. Also, it is now smaller than you think.
Background image deriv. of normanack, https://www.flickr.com/photos/29278394@N00/59538977/
Light a birthday cake on fire, everyone sings. Light garbage on fire, nobody sings. Conclusion: people like garbage more than cake.
Background image by Tela Chhe, https://www.flickr.com/photos/telachhe/2956539243/
Convertible cars are just fancy tents on wheels.